Explaining Fibro to Baby A…

Don’t you love when you’re struggling with something and then “POOF”, what you need to get through magically appears?

 

This past week I had a major fibro freak-out. After I dropped Baby A off at daycare I walking down the steps to head to work and BAM, one of the worse flares I’ve had in a long time hit me like a ton of bricks…and in this case, the ton of bricks landed straight on my knees, that then gave out on me, causing me to fall. My ego was hurt more than anything on my body from the fall, but I was a complete wreck from my flare. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had one so bad. I was shaking, my head, neck, shoulders, arms, elbows, knees, legs, feet…everything hurt. I walked into my office in tears. I am blessed that my office is a physical therapy clinic and I was able to get treatment to ward off my flare getting any worse. (Thank you to the PT who helped me through, she had her hands full with me that morning). I was utterly embarrassed from falling, crying in front of my co-workers and showing my pain.

After my embarrassment wore off a huge reality hit me.

What if I had baby A in my arms when I fell?

Would he have been hurt?

What if I can’t be a normal mommy because of fibro?

What if I can’t keep up?

What if I make him sad because I need to sleep, or he sees me in pain, or he doesn’t understand and resents me for it?

How am I going to be the mommy I want to be with fibro???

 

Then like magic, while I’m clicking through random fibro-flare google searches I ran across a book and the title immediately caught my attention.

Book

 

 

The book is “Why Does Mommy Hurt?” by Elizabeth M. Christy.

I’m going to be completely honest when I first saw the title of the book I was worried. I was worried that it would be pages of a mommy in bed with an heating pad and prescription bottle while their child sat sad in the corner.

After reading the book I feel terrible for being such a rotten pessimist.

The. Book. Is. Fantastic.

The book does a great job describing a chronic pain illness at a child’s level, but what I really love is how the book takes the idea on how to INCLUDE your child in your fibro management. With ideas like “being Mommy’s helper” when fibro fog kicks in, or learning to play quietly, little things where a child can feel like they’re helping, like they have a task and don’t feel helpless in a painful situation, which can happen to people caring for someone with a chronic illness….regardless of their age. It even describes helping mommy through fibro as “fun” and that one sentence changed my outlook on how I can handle working through fibro with Baby A. There are great lessons on comprise on activities during a flare, or spending time with Dad or Grandma when needed.

I also love that the book allows the child to feel sad and angry about fibro. I never want my son to try to put on a “strong” act and hold away any frustration he may have if I’m having a flare…I don’t ever want it to bring him down. I want him to get angry about if he needs to!

I can’t say enough about this book. My hat is tipped to you, Elizabeth…and THANK YOU.

A copy of this book is going on my son’s book shelf and I intend to read it to him often, and to be honest, I’ll probably read it a lot on my own when I need reminding that fibro doesn’t make me less capable as a mother.

To find out more about this book please visit WhyDoesMommyHurt.com.

Are you a parent with a chronic pain condition? Elizabeth has a great support group on Facebook called “Parents with Pain.”

Elizabeth was so nice to sent me her business cards and you can bet all my fibro friends will have one in their possession soon

 

At the end of the day, I want my son to be a fibro fighter…not a fibro victim.

 

Me and Aiden

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